Archive for March, 2013

A New Venture

The time has come to take my fat ass to a new level. I hate the gym, actually that’s not really true. I like the gym for all of a week, then I am bored to tears because I only enjoy doing a few things there. The elliptical, the rowing machine & whichever weight machine stretches out my always aching back. So I started looking for something fun that would keep my interest & I may have found it. Not positive since I only did one trial session today. That thing is called 30 Minute Hit, it’s a kickboxing circuit train for women and today it totally kicked my ass. I almost puked or fainted (Or both) when I’d completed it, actually I gave in at the last few seconds because I honestly didn’t think I could get in another worth it hit on Bob the target dummy. I’ll do a brief run-through as I did it today, but you can start at any station except Bob I think, because he’s the beat his ass to pieces end of the circuit.

  1. Skipping – Get that heart pumping
  2. The Jab – The basic hit really, coincidentally the one I actually enjoy the most
  3. The Front Kick – I mucked up and only did one leg because I got confused
  4. Bah, Crunch time – My most hated aspect of fitness, EVER
  5. The Hook – I have to concentrate on this one, Breathe & always stay on guard because I’m always preparing too fast for the next hit
  6. The Side-Kick – For the balance-challenged like myself it was a little difficult to get the stance proper so you don’t knock yourself over
  7. Bah, more Abs nightmare – This was modified for me though so I used two 5lb free weights and engaged my core in controlled twist (for lack of a better word)
  8. The Uppercut – I’m only 5’4” and had to get down pretty low to be able to hit the sweet spot well which proved a bit difficult for me, this station needs practice.
  9. KNEES!! – I got a little carried away here and if this station had been a person he would have no balls left
  10. The Dreaded Ab Station Again – This time I used a balance ball (funny since I have no balance) with those same free weights from awhile ago and what amounted to me humping the air because I just couldn’t master this one in 2 minutes. I don’t know how the trainer kept a straight face at me sometimes, though I’m sure they’ve seen it before
  11. Turtle Kicks – I wasn’t sure if my tailbone would hold up to this station or not but it proved to be okay, you lay on your back and kick the crap out of your attacker’s shins
  12. The (Sit & Punch??) – You straddle a flat on the ground punching bag. grip it with your legs and wail down blows on the ‘face’ of the grounded person. This will be difficult for anyone lacking model length legs because you’re not actually touching the ground and the bag is wider than one would think when looking at it.
  13. BOB – A target dummy that you let it all out on at the end, where I was completely done in. Basically you take everything you’ve been doing in the circuit and just go all out and have at ‘er (well, ‘im).

And that was that. It didn’t look pretty, but I (mostly) completed it and decided to do a one month (personal trial) period to really try it and learn proper form. I will be completely honest when I say it literally kicked my ass today. I hope that one day I will be the one to kick its ass but we’ll see. You also really only get the work-out that you put out the effort for. I could have taken everything really easy today, and just learned the essentials but I don’t do that, I put everything I have into it until I’ve got nothing left to put in. I noticed today that I was burning myself out during some stations and it caught up to me at the end. I was too embarrassed to go in and still be a lazy fuck, I had to prove I could do it, not to myself, I haven’t reached that point yet, lol, but it was all in the pride/ego.

Also I just noticed that I have 13 stations & that doesn’t add up to 30 minutes so I might be forgetting something or I wasn’t shown everything, I’m not entirely certain. Next time, I guess

So wish me luck kicking some ass 🙂



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